Love One Another

These days, love is not a many splendored thing. The news is filled with criticisms of others whether they deserve it or not.


If there is one trait that would describe-or should describe “being Catholic” it would be “ loving ”. Christ said, “You will know them by their love for one another”. Unfortunately, many Catholics are not full of love.

But, what is love? Or, as Cole Porter, the songwriter once famously wrote, “ What is this thing called love? This funny thing called love? Just who can solve its mystery? ”

We still ask that question and always have, since we first felt a strong emotional attachment to someone. Every February, we celebrate love with the feast of Saint Valentine, the priest who was beheaded for marrying Christians while he was in prison, in defiance of Emperor Claudius II. While in prison, he befriended a young girl visitor and sent her heartfelt messages signed “from your Valentine”. The rest is history.

Nice. But, what is this thing called love? It is one of the most used and misused words in our language. We say, “ I’d love to smack you” as easily as “I’d love to kiss you”. We sing that love is a many splendored thing and we freely throw around phrases such as “ love is in the air”,”love is everywhere”,”love is never having to say you’re sorry”. But what is love? No one really knows.

They also say “love and marriage go together like a horse and a carriage”. True. More than that, what should overcome any disruptive behavior in marriage and explains why the bride and groom wanted to be “joined together” in the first place is love. Pure, simple, unconditional love. Love for one another. Sounds familiar.

Oh, we know when we are in love, we know the pain of losing love or someone we loved, but we cannot define that emotion, that feeling. The 13th century Catholic theologian, St.Thomas Aquinas, defined Hell as the absence of God’s love. Just add ‘for all eternity’ and that really gives meaning to hell and to love as well.

But, if we had to define love, I believe St.Paul defined it best when he wrote to the jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails”.

In the end, I suppose it doesn’t matter that we cannot put our mind around the concept of love as if it were something we could hug. All that matters is that we can love and when we have loved or been loved, it was, well, indescribable.

“ Love thy neighbor as thyself ”, Christ said. He really didn’t have to define love. He simply said we would know who His followers were “ by their love for one another.” Unfortunately, today, it seems everyone is wrapped in their own stuff and no one has time for another.

The flip side of love is, of course, hate. The ultimate expression of hate is fighting in one form or another. One glance at the TV or newspaper will tell us that there is more fighting in our world than there is loving. I really think we love to fight. Which makes me wonder. Why do we fight? More than that, why did God give us the capability to fight as well as the capability to love.

Certainly, we cannot like everyone. Christ never commanded us to do that. That would be a formidable obligation. But, we tolerate one another because we love them. That allows us to be patient, kind,…well, you know the rest.

The news is filled with reports of war, conflict, aggression, insurgency, rebellion, genocide, ethnic cleansing and sectarian violence. Let’s not forget the murder and mayhem in this country and, sadly, in our own neighborhoods. It seems like fighting is everywhere and has been happening for a long time. ( The earliest recorded war was fought in 2700 B.C. Imagine that.)

What is it about us that makes us fight? Why are we wired that way? God told us to love one another and yet He gave us the capability to hurt one another. Why. No one knows. Maybe it’s because if we never fought, we would always love. I can’t even imagine that.

So, isn’t it possible that we fight because we want to retrieve the peace and quiet that was taken from us by whatever means and for whatever reason? Certainly, it can be a little more complicated than that. But basically, I believe most of us prefer peace and quiet.

And, kindness, charity and love flourish only in peace and quiet. Ah, for that.

Till next time...